Phuket Haiku

Here is my tribute to the mighty island of Phuket, where I've been for the last week and will leave soon...

Under the water
Anemone and clown fish
Everywhere I look.

Good pancakes on board
After the third dive of the day
Leftovers are few.

My friends got some ink
A souvenir of Phuket
Shirt will do for me.


This Web Of Rhyme

Took a two day dive trip out on the open sea
A busted ear made my dive buddy unhappy
On the last few dives it was just Oliver and me
Had to figure out what kind of fishes those be.


Why is it that many white guys here I see
Appear to want a Thai girl as company
Even if the age difference is twenty-three?
But don't worry friends, they're not for me.


Under The Sea

A couple photos from the dive adventure...

Me and Chris

I hear some people have been looking for this little fish.

Currently watching:

So This Is Christmas?

So last night I got back from a two day dive trip where I picked up my Advanced Open Water Diver certification. The three of us then decided to go out for Christmas dinner. Best dang steak I've had in a while. Then it was over to the Irish pub, where I ended up watching a whole Robbie Williams concert. The things you do on vacation!! Then it was off to bed early with the hopes of Christmas morning dancing in my head.

In the middle of the night there arose such a clatter, I sprang to my bed to see what was the matter. Could it be Santa, finding me in such a remote location. No, it was the speakers of the Irish pub playing Bon Jovi at four "I didn't think it existed" thrity in the morning. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a little Jovi from time to time. Just not that early.

Today I spent a good amount of the day catching up on the sleep that the boys from Jersey deprived me of, as well as catching up on some much deserved Christmas television. I saw the Christmas episodes of Frasier, Just Shoot Me, Flintstones, Scrubs, and Becker. I only wish I could have caught the Christmas episode of Grizzly Adams, Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas, and Wham's Last Christmas video to complete it all.

Now it almost time again for bed, as well as my internet time is almost up. So I must go... I have more to tell, but only two minutes to post this whole thing.


It's A Christmas Haiku

A couple weeks ago I was asked to write some haiku about some of the key players in the Christmas account. Here are a few of them...


Righteous and devout
Waiting to see the Savior
He sang his praises.

Mary -

A virgin with child
How would she explain to all
That it was of God.

Joseph -

Just a carpenter
Given a greater calling
Raising the Christ boy.

Herod -

A king under threat
Felt his throne under attack
By a new born boy.

Currently listening to: Bill Mallonee -


Who Is In Rhyme

To avoid missing a plane I had to run
But arrived in Phuket ready to have fun
Today on the beach I walked in the sun.

With every calendar year that I turn
You would think that I would learn
To apply the lotion to avoid sunburn.

Tourist Tales

Hey, just wanted to let everyone know I'm safe and doing my part to help revive an economy.

Nothing to report except one couple here in the internet cafe is "eating a lot of salads." I don't know why they felt like reporting that to the people they were chatting online with, but I thought I'd share it with the world.

Hope you are all getting enough salad.


Takeoffs And Landings

I just got my new passport a couple weeks ago. While it is nice to no longer have to carry around a 1995 photo of myself to foreign lands, my passport is nice and empty. My old passport looks like a well traveled companion. It is full of stamps from around the world. With each stamp comes the stories of the people and places I encountered. It looks worn as it has traversed this globe with me for ten years. Oh yeah, it also took a spin through a German washing machine.
But now I have a nice and shiny passport. There are no extra pages added and only one stamp. One stamp that allows me multiple entries into Korea for a year.

But don't worry, as I've got plans and dreams to fill this passport up soon. In fact, my bags are already packed for the quest for the next stamp... Thailand. A few hours from now I'll be leaving for two weeks in Phuket with two great guys as colleagues in adventure.
I just wonder how many countries stamped in my new passport will no longer be in existence when I have to get my next passport?

Currently listening to: Bill Mallonee -


Freedom Friday Haiku

Break is almost here
While I wish I was skiing
The beach will be nice.

Last week I was asked to explain the Habitat For Humanity trip to a potential leader. I gave them the response in the 5-7-5 form I've been addicted to lately...

Build homes for poor
Take a bunch of kids with you
Go or be a jerk.

B-4 and B-5
Dang you sunk my battleship
Always lost the pegs.

Falling from the sky
Above where I went to school
Gonna be a mom.


There in Big Bird's Nest
Not what you thought would be there
I think he was framed

Currently watching:

In The Batter's Circle

I was excited a few weeks ago when I learned of the World Baseball Classic - like the World Cup, but they use more than just their feet. But today, I read the news that Cuba is being denied the opportunity to play, and my interest faded a little. Is America so threatened by a team of baseball players? Are we afraid they will beat us on the field, or even worse, cause us to rethink our political system and go communist? But then again, it can't be the political thing, as the largest Communist country in the world, and a statistical leader in human rights violations is allowed to play. And we all know China can't even make a quality cigar, so what is up with that?

So when the games come around, if I even watch, I'll be rooting for Korea.

Currently listening to: Bill Mallonee -


Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

They left America to make it big in Germany. Then they came back. Now they tell us they were Never Gone. And in a month they are coming to Korea.

Who thinks I should go? Who wants to go with me? Who wants to beat me up for considering it?

Currently listening to: Bill Mallonee -


I Want To Breathe In Rhyme

Last night in a bus we all did pile
To eat and have fun for a while.
Our students how did they smile.
As we rode from mile to mile.

Family night for me and the crew
Off to the Bennigan's that is new
Plenty of food did they all chew
Our waitress she was Blue.


Internet Searches And Prayer

I loves the internet. As an information junkie, I love the challenge of finding information as quick as possible. Like tonight, when a friend needed some help with an upcoming trip. Within seconds of them asking about something, I already had a links to the weather, what to wear, and a few choice tourist spots to visit. Heck, even before the question was even thought, I was providing a list of churches they could worship in, as well as the movies on their flight there and back.

Now I originally wrote that first paragraph to lead into giving you some information on a previous post. The domino toppling bird is going on display in a museum.

But as I was reading over what I typed, I was hit with a thought. Rarely do I compare myself with God. I know better. But in the first paragraph, I saw a dim reflection of God and his knowledge of our needs. He hears our prayers, but already knows what we need even before the sound escapes our mouth. Now I'm not saying God will always be as quick as some internet searches to respond to one's prayer, but he knows our need and he knows what is needed to fill that need. Sure sometimes it is a quick answer, but at times it is a slowly delivered answer. Sometimes we must wait on Him, sometimes he requires us to take action. I guess it is just comforting that he knows our needs, and is waiting to hear from us.

Currently listening to: Barenaked Ladies -


Haphazard Haiku

Dang, I don't know what my deal is, but the haiku are popping out like zits on a kid hitting puberty... There are some personal, some pop cultural, and a whole lot of current news...

A contract in hand
Working in a dorm with kids
One more year at least.

Italian dinner
Wondering why I'm lucky
Having such good friends.

Superbowl shuffle
Walter, McMahon and the Fridge
At least they could play.

A lone crusader
Helped bring down the Berlin Wall
Once patrolled the beach

Fond du Lac people
Taking a leak in the streets
Get to write letters

A year between meals
Translucent until blood filled
Watch out for bed bugs

Bed bugs in New York
They have a taste for Swiss blood
Who want some money

Too much drinky drink
A night in the rubbish bin
Almost was his last

Currently listening to: Barenaked Ladies -

The Rantings Of A Mad Man

I've had a couple posts I've started to write, but never fully finished... today, I'm tossing them out in their roughest form.

Last week, I took a trip across town to see the latest film in the Harry Potter series. I'll admit, I've read all the books and have now seen all the films in the series. I know that among some Christian circles this carries the same stigma of admitting you made change in the offering plate, attended a Marilyn Manson concert, or shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

At the same time, I've heard most of the arguements against the film, and I think the whole thing about kids wanting to be wizards and casting spells is just a smoke screen for many parents... they are really afraid of is their kids falling to the alure of life in a boarding school. Yep, you've probably read it first here... My theory of why parents hate the Potter is the appeal of life away from parents. They fear their kids will see the perks of living in a setting away from their immediate parental control and will be signing up to attend one of many boarding schools in this world. Oh, and what perks there are. For example, having a roommate your own age, instead of your bratty little brother. Or when you want to get a game of basketball together, you just ask the guys on the hall.

As one who has worked in boarding schools for the last eight years, I can give you a list of names of people who wouldn't think it is all fun and games.

I'm concerned... if the beautiful, rich and famous can't keep their engagements or marriages together, how in the world is it to work for us common folk?

Finally, what in the world are these churches thinking? Closing on Christmas, because it falls on a Sunday? Wow, what a great idea. Heaven forbid that this is part of the central focus of why have a church in the first place. I know several people that Christmas is the only time they actually attend church. I guess they will have to find a new place to go. And what about all those who are in need of some form of family or stability on what some claim is the loneliest time of the year?

By the way, if anybody from the mega-churches are reading this... I hope you know Easter will be falling on a Sunday this year as well. Are you guys going to be closing down for that holiday too?

Currently listening to: The Rickey Gervais Podcast


With Such A Vicious Rhyme

So, when an officer of the law tells you to do something - you do it. So I've written a poem to try to explain my last haiku. This also begs the question, anyone want to start Rhyming Tuesdays?

A friend from the past
With some tickets for a show
Thought it would be a blast
If with me she would go.

But alas I'm in a foreign land
And that week will be a busy fellow
No Coldplay ticket in my hand
In the hopes to hear them sing "Yellow."


Brothers And Sisters... Dance, Dance, Dance!

Lately there has been a craze in the dorms with the DDR pads hooked up to the Playstation machine. For those not in the know, this is a large mat on the floor that tracks one's movements and processes them into a video game where one is judged based on their dance movements. It is very similiar to the Nintendo Power Pad of days gone by.

As one who was raised far from the dance halls and discotechs, I feel inadequate when my coworkers get together. I feel shame at my lack of rhythm. But what is worse, is that I'm offended by the lyrics of the songs that these folks are dancing to. Can I honestly object my impressionable mind to the likes of M.A.R.R.'s - "Pump Up The Volume?"

But thanks to the fine folks at Digital Praise, I can now bust out my lack of skills with music that will lift my spirit up. They have released a Christian version of the dance pad. It comes complete with songs by Steven Curtis Chapman, ZOEgirl, Earthsuit, and tobyMAC. And very much like their counterparts, the new dance pad is set up with a cross in middle of the pad. How more godly can it be? I'd bet that if King David had one of these, he wouldn't have gone dancing naked!!

Now if there were only a Spiritualized version of Soul Calibur II, Silent Scope, or PSP Grand Theft Auto. And what scares me the most is that there is probably someone working on a Christian version of Playboy the Mansion ... where you tour the heavenly mansions and help build them for those who come after you.

Currently listening to: Trans-Siberian Orchestra -


Haiku A Plenty

The calendar on the wall tells me it is time once again to set free some haiku on to this world.

Asked out on a date
A cute gal with Coldplay tix
Too bad I can't go.

White stick with a flame
Causes much trouble for kids
When will they wise up?

Bounces like a ball
Lifts image from the paper
The Silly Putty.

Not heaven or hell
A waiting zone for the dead
Is now in limbo

Currently snacking on:


Passing On

Long time readers of this stupid little blog might have noticed that I have an odd responsibility to pass on the news of people's death, especially ones who had some small impact on my life... like that of Bozo, Pat Morita, or the latest Stan Berenstain. For those who were not literate as small children, he was the creater of the Berenstain Bears, a delightful family who tough us values and other key things needed in life.

Speaking of death, this story gave me a little chill. It appears that a young gal died after a kiss from her boyfriend. Talk about literally taking one's breath away with a kiss.

Well, I really don't have anything really worth posting tonight, but wanted something new to take the place of all those haiku. I have posted some new photos over at flickr. You can see some previews over to the right -------> Most are from a trip to Italy I was fortunate to take. For some reason tonight I was sort of wishing I was back on the beach outside of Rome. Once you see the photo, you might want to join me.

Some of my students need to read:


Holiday Haiku

For the holiday weekend, I'm serving up an extra helping of Haiku Friday like a fine turkey dinner... with extra stuffing. So sit back, loosen up your belt, and feast on these...

I feel like a kid
Stuck in the basement to eat
At least I got pie.

iPod hard drive crash
Replacement comes in the mail
Yeah for warranty.

Two Thai teas to drink
Set the spice level to four
In my red curry.

The East versus West
Paulie gets a gift robot
If he dies, he dies.

Four pounds of turkey
One hundred pounds of woman
Twelve minute pig out

Parade loving folk
Sent into a mass panic
When balloons attack

The drug tryptophan
In pure form makes one sleepy
But not in turkey

Wax on and wax off
The karate kid was taught
The teacher is gone

Currently listening to:

Youth In Yellow

This week's theme at Photo Friday is Yellow. This photo was taken on a bridge leading to a park on the southern edge of Taejon.

Currently listening to: Chilliwack -


Remember The Stuffing Lady

Some might say it was ironic that Ruth Seims, the creator of Stove Top Stuffing, passed away shortly before Thanksgiving. Let us all take a moment today to be thankful for the quick and less messy way to enjoy the fine taste of stuffing. Thanks Ruth.

Tonight, somebody better be bringing:

When I'm Gone

My friend Bethany recently directed people to a cool way to wear your deceased loved ones, even if that loved one is a pet who has passed. And while this might be easier than keeping someone in a glass sarcophagus like Uncle Ho, others might be a little freaked out when the dead start to rise... from their finger jewelry.

But it would be selfish to only have one person sporting a piece of me after my time on this celestial ball comes to a sudden end. If only there were another option... oh wait there is. For about the cost of the The Best of Hanson CD, you can take my breath away, and keep it in a little vial. And there are so many options of how you can display the carbon dioxide I produce. If you are religious how about a cross? Or maybe you want to remember me as the dog that I am. Maybe you hope that in my breath is some secret I will whisper in your ear.

So who wants one? If you order one, I'll fill it up for free. Although for an extra $10, payable to me, I'll make sure the breath captured is scented in your choice of: Thai food, Chinese food, Mexican food, Freshly brushed teeth, or Kimchi.

So if you want a keepsake that will last longer than a t-shirt, get busy. Sorry, I'm not giving out locks of hair for fear that someone would want to clone me someday.

Currently soothing my throat with a:


Wait A Second

Recently a friend made fun of me for my knowledge of completely random information as well as my mad internet searching skills. I have to take this as a compliment, especially as later they asked me to help them find some information online...

So today, I bring you some more random information that you can use to impress friends and family. In fact, I'm going to help you celebrate a little longer this New Year's Eve. According to the article this year we will be adding another second to the end of the year. Yes, a whole second is going to be added to this fine year. And while it will give many an extra second to kiss the one they love, or are at least celebrating with, it does pose some questions. Will Dick Clark and Regis Philbin will have to stutter? I can hear them saying, "Five, Four, Three, Two, One, One...Happy New Years!!" And if I'm working the overnight shift, will I be creditted for that extra work I might do?

As a reader of this blog you will have a head start for planning what you will do your extra second. Please spred the word, making sure you tell them where you heard it first. And I pitty those who are not informed and wake up an extra second early on January 1.

Currently listening to: Sting -


Can't Stop The Haiku

Another week gone
Time to publish some haiku
Will I get comments?

Late into the night
Questioning community
Why did the mic break?


It's close to midnight
Time for a cool zombie dance
Beware the thriller.

Not if black or white
But the question in Dubai
Is he boy or girl

Currently listening to: Club 977


For The Birds

I admit I'm a bit of an internet junkie. Mix that with my curiosity of odd news, and you have a dangerous mix. Like today I was telling a story to friends that comes from the Netherlands. It goes a little like this...

Most people think that domino toppling ended with the decline of sales of Domino Rally sometime in the late 80s. But luckily classic 80's rock is not the only thing that is kept alive in Europe. There is even a yearly attempt to set a world record for domino toppling.

And while most people thing that this is a fairly safe and simple sport, this year's attemtpt at a record turned fatal. Sadly a sparrow decided to join in the fun, and took out a few thousand dominos before it was taken out. Now the lone gunman finds himself the target of those who want his death.

What does this all have to do with the grand scheme of life? I have no clue, just thought I'd share what I've learned this week. And I hadn't updated in a little while...

Currently reading:


Happy Haiku

Another Friday
s posted for your fun
Enjoy the reading.

This path that I'm on
God directs and I follow
I wish I knew more.

Sloth loves Baby Ruth
But down here it is our time
They never say die.

Thought he hit a deer
Got out to take a look-see
But the deer hit him

New photos online
Some great shots of days gone by
Look at link on right.

Currently listening to: Hall & Oates -


My Fifteen Minutes Are Ticking Away

Last spring I did an interview for a paper in the Allentown, Pennsylvania area about a website that I was prone to leave comments on from time to time. I was excited to have yet another fun little story about my near brush with fame, but shortly after the interview the website in question vanished quicker than something that vanishes really quickly. I thought all was loss, until tonight. I was shocked, amazed, and honored to see that my interview had been published a few weeks ago. So swing over and read my interview that many in the greater Allentown and Bethlehem area have already read. Be sure to leave a comment while you are there to show your support of all things that mention Cordell. Perhaps someday I can be big in Bethlehem.

Currently playing in the next room:


Just Another Manic Monday

Just because there might be someone out there who is the least interested in knowning what my day looked like... I give you a run down of my last 24 hours or so.

0:00 - Yahoo Euchre - I won 7 of 9 games. Also during this time various light checks of my and other dorms
2:00 - Found my bed.
6:55 - Second alarm goes off. I toss on some clothes, exit my room, and proceed to wake up students.
7:15 - Breakfast
7:50 - Morning announcements
8:00 - Bust four students for sneaking food well after breakfast time was up. (see 7:15)
8:20 - Pick up paper for printers
8:30 - Test vents in dorm for aroma and smoke distrubution.
8:40 - Room checks
9:00 - Work on snack budget report. Discover I've spent over 1,000,000W on snacks.
10:00 - Ride with newly engaged couple to do dorm store shopping.
11:35 - Lunch - had a salad, dang I'm healthy.
13:00 - Bike ride
14:20 - Nap
14:30 - Shower
15:00 - Welcome kids home with news that most have to clean their rooms. Monitor cleaning of rooms. Make four students write the time of breakfast fifty times. (See 8:00)
17:30 - Dinner - Baked potatoes
18:00 - Order 35,000 W of kimbap for snack
20:00 - Moniter study hall/chatting oline with babes
21:00 - Pick up kimbap.
21:45 - Served snack to students
22:00 - Moniter chores
22:30 - Send the kids to bed - Lights out for half of the dorm students.
22:45 - Collect handphones from students.
23:00 - Lights out for the rest of the dorm.
11:30 - Surf the web pondering things like does everything sound like Coldplay now, do I need to start taking Panexa, how much caffeine would it take to kill a man of my size and what is going on?

Now I go to bed, knowing that tomorrow I can sleep in.

Currently listening to: Katie Melua -


Haiku Mania

Friday has arrived, and you know what that means... HAIKUS. And like every Friday, here come the personal, pop culture, and current news haiku.

Free train trip to Seoul
Indian food with no cost
And a doughnut run.

Land of Confusion
Phil Collins and some puppets
Still scares me sometimes.

Home Depot's catch phrase
"You Can Do It, We Can Help"
Is not always true


To give a little insight into the first haiku, today I took the train to Seoul. As some of my friends know, often strange things happen to me when I'm exploring by myself. Today was no exception. The train was delayed so much they gave out refunds at the station. I then took my broken iPod to the Apple store, where they told me they would replace it in two weeks. After that good news, I decided to head over to Itaewon to get some Indian food. As I entered the place, I met a nice young couple who invited me to join them. After some really good conversation, and some great food, they picked up the tab.

But the sight of the day had to be one large white man walking through the subway with six dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. It was like I didn't think I stuck out enough, so I had to have two large bags full of fresh, delicious smelling, original glazed doughnuts. The things I'll do for my students.

There is so much I'd love to say about this last week... Until I decide to put it in a post, just know that God has been great and has taught me a lot this week. Things about myself, friendships, His will and timing, and choices.

Currently reading:


Recalling What?

I'm a little concerned, confused, and shocked at the product being recalled in this article. Unless the people who wrote the article have updated it, there is a funny typo in the first paragraph to be found.


Film And Phone

I saw a link recently with the phrase, "Last night I didn't fall asleep until early in the morning. And I've got a long day ahead of me. So, what the heck is making me smile at 7:35 in the morning?" It reminded me of one of my mornings last week, so I had to click it. What I found was a hilarious short film. Check it out, and I'd recommend watching it twice to get the full effect.

BTW... Cordell's got a new number... No matter where I am in the world, you can now reach me at (309) BAN-HAMS. Yep, the days working in the butcher shop still make me shudder when I see ham in the lunch line. But if you processed two ton of ham a week, you'd feel the same.

Spam lovers can also reach me at (309) CAN-HAMS. And Bah, if you stutter you can reach me at (309) A-am I COP.

I had the chance to get (309) CAM-GIRLS, but didn't think that would look so good on the resume.

And before you even attempt a call, check this site to see what time it might be where I am.

Currently listening to: Kings Of Convenience -