Where Ox And Ass Are Feeding

I am so childish sometimes. Today at church I thought one of the fun things about Christmas is being able to use the word "ass" in church. The best part is that it was used in not just one, but two songs this morning. Like I said, sometimes I can be childish.

Speaking of being childish, I had a good laugh on the plane the other day. The flight from Norita to Chicago was having some difficulties with their entertainment system. At first it was just audio. While they were trying to fix it, they began flipping the video channels between the various movies. Unfortunately, they stopped on a shower scene from some movie. Total nakedness for all the passengers to see. (Well, not everyone, as the little kid two seats over was still crying because he couldn't see over the seat in front of him.) But for a minute or so everyone got an anatomy lesson. Very soon after that Christmas music began pouring out of the overhead speaker system. It was followed by an announcement that the system was now fixed. My friend sitting next to me said something about "Christmas music and porn," and the laughter began. Interestingly enough, this makes the second year in a row where adult oriented material has been on open display on my flights at Christmas.

Currently listening to: Wham! - "Last Christmas"


Hooray Hooray, It's A Holi-Holiday

The philosopher Kravitz once said, "I want to get away, I want to fly away." I know how he felt. Vacation came about twenty five minutes too late, but it is here. I've got my bags packed, the iPod charged, and the tickets and passport on the desk. In less than seven hours I will be on a bus heading to the airport. Barring any technicalities, soon I'll be walking along a remote beach with some good friends.

If I don't get a chance to find an internet connection between now and then, I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Currently listening to: Aimee Mann - "I'll Be Home for Christmas"


Friday Night Arrives Without A Suitcase

Instead of knocking
Upon your door to carol
I give you some links...

Bowie meets Crosby
To sing a Christmas duet
It is a classic.

I was expecting
Nice day for a white Christmas
From Billy Idol.

Nine days left to shop
Looking for the perfect gift?

This boy's got some heart
Too bad he is lacking some tone
But it is divine.

Think you got it tough
Finding the perfect present?
Buy for a Wookie.

Before they broke up
Wham gave us a Christmas song
That everyone loves.

Each word here a link
To a different Christmas song
For your enjoyment.

One haiku won't do.
There's so much Christmas music
On the internet.

Currently listening to:

A Caution To The Birds

Ambushed is not just how I've felt lately, but also the theme of PhotoFriday this week. And for it I'm busting out one of my favorite photos. This was taken a few years ago in Venice. I had the students line up, poured out a bunch of corn, and then yelled "Run." It was time to show the birds who was boss.

Currently listening to:


Friday Night And I Got Wings

As this Christmas nears
One job you don't want to have:
The eggnog tester.

Busting out the thread
Got to make some small repairs
Oh yeah, I can sew.

MP3 screw up
Some songs were combined somehow
It's driving me mad.

Learn from her mistake
Lay off the chili and beans
Before the big flight

Currently watching:


Take Your Protein Pills

Well, I posted recently about my mild concussion. After visiting with the nurse the next day she suggested I might want to see a doctor. As she didn't drive me there immediately, I decided I was good enough. The next day she saw me again, and told me that if I played the following week I had to wear a helmet. Fair enough I thought. When I told my friends that I would be showing up with protection, they just laughed. But the joke was on them. I've got my own card now!

On the back of this football card are the simple statistics:
Playing without dorky helmet - 0 first downs, 0 touchdowns
Playing with dorky helmet - 1 first down, 2 touchdowns

plus the trivial fact, "In the off-season he likes to travel by train to remote and unique destinations."

Now all I need is a helmet company that is in need of a spokesperson. I'd be willing to decorate the helmet with stickers and logos of any interested parties.

Currently listening to: Kings of Convenience - "Misread"


Got His Own Jet Airplane

I usually have some time to kill in the office during the weekends. Often I find myself surfing around the web to find interesting and strange stories to share with others. This weekend, in my clicking I found something I could not help but question. I guess Benny Hinn is in desperate need of a private jet to help him spread the gospel. In fact he is in such a need, they have already taken possession of the plane. Unfortunately, they didn't have the money to purchase it yet. So he just needs 6000 people to donate $1000 to help with the DOWN PAYMENT.

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the spreading of the true Gospel. (Although there is some question in terms of Mr. Hinn's version) In fact, I have been involved in that line of work for years, AND I FLY COACH! Sure, my work has basically been in one location, with only the need to fly about once a year for work projects. But again, I fly coach. During the years when I had to travel across America speaking at churches, I drove from place to place. There was no multi-million dollar plane to whisk me to the next church.

I wonder if Benny knows how many economy tickets he could buy with that $6,000,000 down payment? My rough guess says around 5500 to 6000 international tickets. If these are the last days as he claims, I don't see him needing that many, even if he takes some friends along.

You know what else could be done with that six million?
15625 children could be sponsored for a year.
12000 heifers could be donated to needy families.
300000 flocks of geese to provide eggs, meat, and down for those in need.
171,428 gardens could be planted.
15000 playgrounds assembled for children.
6000 wells dug and maintained.

Or you could provide me with a private jet so I don't have to wait in lines or have to continue to be profiled in my travels. Plus how am I expected to visit all the applicants from around the world?

Song to go with this post: Genesis - "Jesus He Knows Me"


The Surface Won't Tell You

I've taken care of the Haiku Friday, now it is time for Photo Friday. This week's theme is "stillness." I took this photo a couple summers ago while spending some time at the lake. I could get lost in this photo for a while. in fact, I might just do that right now...

Currently listening to: Twisted Sister - A Twisted Christmas