26.2.04

What Book Am I?

You gotta love these kind of quizes...




You're Catch-22!

by Joseph Heller

Incredibly witty and funny, you have a taste for irony in all that you
see. It seems that life has put you in perpetually untenable situations, and your sense
of humor is all that gets you through them. These experiences have also made you an
ardent pacifist, though you present your message with tongue sewn into cheek. You
could coin a phrase that replaces the word "paradox" for millions of
people.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



Currently listening to: Toad The Wet Sprocket - cover

Blogger Idol - Week Six - My Picks



Here are the entries into this weeks "Movies" theme of Blogger Idol that I liked:
1. The Green Man
2. Shalom
3. Harmless Thoughts
4. Bridgier
5. Quantum Tea

check out the rest of the entries or my entry.

Currently listening to: Toad The Wet Sprocket - cover

Here are the old comments.

If I Were A Kid's Toy

I've been turned into a Lego figure.


Yes, I do have a Green Lantern shirt.

Create your very own Lego-look-a-like and then come back and post a link to it.

Currently listening to: Toad The Wet Sprocket - cover

"The Passion of Christ" Is Powerful

Well, I have yet to see the new film, not because I'm not interested, but because I live in Europe, where Cold Mountain just opened up last week. Yep, I'm betting it will be another four or five months before we see this new film. But before I do, I'm going to go in for a full check-up with my doctor. Why? According to the news reports "a woman dies during screening of 'Passion Of The Christ'" Interestlingly enough, I've been to the theater where this occurred, and my friend there was claiming that it was the largest screen in the U.S., as of last year. (he could be wrong) So combine the largest screen in America, and the most violent film in a while, and you've got yourself a recipe for danger.

But then again, it could just be the media trying to put a negative spin on the film. We never hear about the many people I assume who die in movie theaters every year. Heck, I've come pretty close to being bored to death at several theaters.

Currently listening to: Toad The Wet Sprocket - cover

Who Wants To Take A Trip?

Big news today in the world of travel, at least for the Americans. We can now legally travel to Libya. So I'm thinking about a nice summer trip to lay on the shores of Tripoli sipping a cold beverage.

Although I joke, I do have two thoughts
1. If any Americans do head that way, I suggest putting that Canadian flag on their backpack, just in case.
2. It is too bad Cuba doesn't have a large oil supply. Otherwise Americans could be enjoying vacations there enjoying a fine Cuban, um... sunset.

Currently listening to: Alison Krauss - cover

Nice Try

Today I got this email, and although I didn't fall for it, I wonder how many people are this stupid......

_Dear_ CitibankOnline Card_holder,

This _email was ssent by the_ Citibank_ serevrs to
veerify _your_ E-MAIL adderss.
You muust cltpmoee this porescs by clicking on the_ link
bellow and enttering in the small window your _citibank
_Debit_ full_card_nummber and Pin that you use_ on_the _ATM_.
That_is done for Your ptcoretion -1- becourse some of_our
memebrs no logenr have acecss to their email adersseds
and we must verify it.

http://www.there was a really long web address here. com or net

To veerify _your _email adderss and _access_ _your Citi-Bank
account, click on_the link bellow.

MAiyw0K52lJt


But then again, this is for my "prcoretion." I actaully think people stupid enough to fall for this, or many of the viruses going around, deserve to have their identity stolen, computer frozen, and then have to endure the mockery of those who are not as ignorant. A computer is a little like a car, don't opperate it unless you know how to fully use it. So turn off the blinker grandma, and get out of the passing lane.

Currently listening to: Nothing

25.2.04

Studies Show....

Here is a real shocker, a new report shows that "TV, Eating Out Makes Kids Fat." I can't wait for the reports "drinking a lot of fluids causes greater need for toilets," and "staying up late causes stupid web posts."

Goodnight.

Currently listening to: Dolly Varden - cover

You Want Fries With That?

Sorry, but don't believe every phone call you get. Sort of reminds me of the time my friend three-way called Arby's and Hardee's. That was a good time, and nobody got frisked.

Currently listening to: Dolly Varden - cover

Blogger Idol - Week Six - Movie Rant


This week the theme is "Movies," as a movie buff I have been torn on which direction to go. But when I got the email about the theme I was in the dorm, and thus the following commentary on movies.....

I live in a bubble. In fact I've lived in a bubble for a good part of my adult life. No, I'm not like Tod Lubitch, as I live in them by choice. The kind of bubble I'm talking about is the religious setting, like at a college, or currently the high school I work at. Now don't get me wrong, bubbles are not always horrible places to live, but they can really distort people's perception of the real world.

Take for instance movies. Before we show a movie here, we often have to check out some site like Kids In Mind or Screen It to make sure the movie is kosher. Don't want too much offensive language, no skin, easy on the violence, and definitely nothing that hints at evil things like witchcraft or Elvis impersonations. And don't get me wrong, those are two really good websites to find out about a movie's content.

But for a while we even had these boxes called the TV Guardian (endorsed by Mary Lou Retton) installed between our video machines and televisions. These devices would read the Closed Captioning feed and would cut out the sound when an offensive word was played. They would also then display the dialog of the movie with the offensive word replaced by the "family friendly" alternative. I don't know how many times I would chuckle internally, and sometimes externally, when I would read phrases like, "He is such a rear head," and my favorite "Hug you."

That wasn't enough for some, and now in many bubbles around this world people subscribe to programs like Clean Flicks, Family Time Movies,and Clean Films. These services will actually take movies and edit out all the skin, language, and excessive violence from a film. You then rent the edited copy, so your family can watch movies in your own safe little world.

I've got news for these people, it is censorship and wrong, so stop it now. As a society we have almost stopped burning and banning books for objectionable material, so why do it with films? But you are probably asking how are you and your family supposed to enjoy quality films like Stealing Harvard, Momento, One Hour Photo, Sleepy Hollow, Panic Room, Igby Goes Down, or Dreamcatcher? (all of these films can be rented at above editing websites) Try this one on for size, if you are offended by elements of the film, don't watch it at all. Editing some of those films still leaves you with something I would not show to any kid of mine, regardless if there are no F-bombs. Why do we want to Christian-ize everything? Can't we just draw a line, and say for me and my family we choose not to watch ______ films (fill in the blank with your appropriate rating, level of violence, the word Disney, porn, or Ernest) There are just some films that are not worth watching - edited or not. Just like some books, artworks, magazines, and other products of society are not for my tastes. And I just accept that, not try to make them fit my mold.

Here is a novel idea, go outside into the real world and check things out. You can't plug the TV Guardian into the people on the subway (please don't try, it could get embarrassing.) and you can't edit out the billboards as you drive down the highway. The world outside of the bubble is full of offensive stuff, but that doesn't mean we need to hide from it all. (Nor does it mean we need to embrace it all either) We just need to accept it, and try to make a change for the better. Censoring and editing will not make the difference. Heck, cause when you buy an edited version of a film, you are still buying a copy of the non-edited film, thus you are not "sending Hollywood a message that we want clean films," as you just brought home a scratched up copy of some film with 24 F-bombs, a naked butt, and three guys drinking.

All I'm saying is that sometimes when I stub my toe, I don't say "Golly gee, that kinda stings." And I like my films like I like the rest of my life, unedited and as the director wanted.

Be sure to check out the other entries for this week by clicking the little button.
blogger_idol-1.gif

Currently listening to: Dolly Varden - cover

23.2.04

If Only In Real Life

Today, I made my fifth million British Pound, which is the equivalent of $9,329,000. How did I do it? Playing a little game called Popex. It is where you buy and sell fictional shares of stock in musical artists and bands. I've been playing for just under three years, so I think I'm doing alright. Now if I can just figure out how to do this in real life.....

Currently listening to: Beth Orton - cover

Here are the old comments.

21.2.04

Dorm Laughter Contest

Once again, I'm covering for some of the staff at HBR, the dorm I lived in for two years. So far all is going well, and it is good to back into the old routine. Helping with the cooking, driving guys around, joking, talking, and just hanging out. Tonight we banned the guys from watching a movie, and instead had them play various games. One of the games someone came up with had three guys sitting on a couch. Then a couple people would leave the area for a little bit, and when they returned they had to make those on the couch laugh. At one point, the dorm dad and I went back to the laundry room to try to figure out what to do to cause a laugh. I initally joked about doing the "Truffle Shuffle," but decided it was too easy. The dorm dad took off to try something else, and as I was waiting it dawned on me, the perfect laugh getter. So I set it all up, by changing into one of my sweaters that was in the dryer, and getting the right prop. I then heard a little laughter so I figured the dorm dad had already made his attempt. I then came down the hall, acting a little frustrated that I didn't get my shot to join in the attempt to make the crowd laugh. After the laughter died down, and one student claiming that he still didn't laugh, I begin to scratch at my belly button. I then in a normal tone announced that if there was one thing that really bugged me, it was belly button lint. At the same time I pulled out almost two hand fulls of lint from under my sweater. BANG - everyone was laughing, and laughing hard. With the help of two industrial sized laundry machines, I won the contest. Ahh, it felt good to be king.

Currently listening to: Nothing

Here are the old old comments.

19.2.04

Is Smallville a Southern Town?

Dang, I need to go to bed. But right before I shut off my television, I was flipping over to CNN, and came across Superman III on. Then something hit me like a ton of bricks. I know I'm not the first to realize this, but no one I know has commented on this yet. In Superman III, Lana Lang, Clark Kent/Superman's love interest, is played by Annette O'Toole and in Smallville, the television show about Clark Kent/Superman as a highschooler, Martha Kent is played by Annette O'Toole. Makes you wonder? Is there a Dr. Freud in the house? Oedipus?

Going to bed now.....

Currently listening to: Superman III auf Deutsch

Smokin' Irish

Well, for those of you who don't know, I'm going to be travelling to Ireland in about five weeks. And although I wasn't planning on having a smoke in a little pub tehre, I guess that decision has been made for me. Not by the school, which would probably frown on it, but by the Irish government. See they are joining the US in creating smoking bans in pubs, public transport, and restaurants. Now, I can remember a few years back in Ireland when ladies would stand on the street corners selling cheap cigarettes, or fags as they like to call them. But alas, two days after I arrive this year the ban will happen. I guess it might be kind of cool to be there when it takes effect.

I do find it funny though that you will still be able to smoke in nursing hoems, prisons, and psychiatric hospitals. I know there is a joke there somewhere, but you will have to leave it in my comment box.

Currently listening to: Wiener Opernball (Vienna Opera Ball) on television. Talk about culture.

Blogger Idol - Week Five - Top Five


Alright, here are the ones that I've selected to be honored in the next five lines.
1. Simple Green - Fictional Confessions of a Soul-stealer
2. Tim Samoff
3. Downtown Chick Chat - I will warn of a little bit of language.
4. Moodstruck
5. Verbiage Ramblings

Click the logo above to see the whole list of entries. Or scroll down to see mine. Or don't do either.

Currently listening to: Five O'clock People - The Nothing Venture

Here are the old comments.

18.2.04

Blogger Idol - Week Five - My Late Entry


This weeks theme is "Picture This," and I was going to write the story of my Valentine's Day this year - a funny story on so many levels, but I'm tired and the entry needs to be in soon.

Instead Picture This :

A missionary who's main responsibility is working with youth. His job is to be a positive role model and example to the high school students he works with. He is given a higher calling to be above reproach. He knows that many of the young people he interacts with will follow his example, repeat his words, and do as he does.

Now picture said youth worker helping lead a group of students to one of the most influential cities in history. A city where emperors rule the land, where civilization spread from and people flocked to. A city which still contains the headquarters for one of the largest religious groups in the world. Can you picture yourself in Rome standing in the Piazza di San Pietro looking up at the Vatican?

Now picture a little old nun. Picture the durational habit, the black, the white, the beads. Can you picture the spirit of a lady who has followed the calling of her God and church?

Let's picture a couple cans of beer. Not an import, but an fine Italian beer. Can you picture a couple cold cans of Forst beer on a nice autumn day?

Finally, can you picture them all together? If not, scroll down a little......










I must say the can was empty when I got it. It was only a prop.
No beer was consumed by the younger one of the two in this picture.

Here is one more photo for your enjoyment.

Who said nuns can't have a little fun?

Be sure to check out the other entries for this week by clicking the little button.
blogger_idol-1.gif

Currently listening to: Columbia House Presents Greatest Hits of the '80s volume 3 - with Night Ranger's Sister Christian

Here are the old old comments.

Help Me Out

I'm setting up a charity auction thing for my work place, and want to show that it will be beneficial and will actually help raise some funds. So please check out this initial auction. Also, if you have any connections and know where we could get some cool, interesting things to auction off in a couple months, please email me at webmaster at ryancordell dot com (put it together - I wrote it that way to avoid the SpamBots) i'm thinking items like autographs, collectors editions, or other random stuff of interest. Plus, if you want to sell stuff, and donate a portion of it to charity, check out MissionFish, or just go directly to my charity's section. Now go bid for a mousepad and a worthy cause.

Currently listening to: King Tut by Steve Martin which is playing currently on my very own online radio station.

Stupid, You're So Stupid

Today as I arrived for work, I was reminded that I work with some stupid people. Now before you call my office, or begin to wonder if you are one of them, please let me explain. See we live in a part of the world were parking space is limited. In fact, our town decided to remove a large part of parking spots in the downtown area, in an effort to promote business, I think. But back to my story.... as I pulled in there was not the usual half a parking spot created by poor parking, but two, count them two half parking spots. Keep in mind there is only room for about twenty cars in this parking area, and you will see why I'm deducting that there are some people who when it comes to parking are just plain stupid. Anyone want to come to Europe and teach parking to some American and Canadians?

Currently listening to: the voices in my head saying to go leave parking instructions on the cars out front - I'm only listening though, not gonna respond.

17.2.04

Outkast Is Wrong

The fine informative people at Reuters are informing music fans that need not "Shake it like a Polaroid picture." In fact, the people at Polaroid are tipping off the people that their film doesn't need any assistance to dry. What has this world come to where rock/pop/rap/polka/instrumental/ska musicians teach us incorrect information? Who else is feeding the children misinformation? So I present some of the things I've learned from music that I'm need to research. If any of you know if these are true or not, please let me know. I don't want to be lead astray any longer.

1. Is the owner of a lonely heart much better than the owner of a broken heart?
2. I know we didn't start the fire, but are we really trying to fight it?
3. Did video really kill the radio star?
4. Can we really act like we come from out of this world, and leave the real one far behind?
5. Is every little thing she does really magic? Even like when she leaves the lid off the toothpaste tube?
6. Do you really need a fiddle in the band, if in fact you are going to play in Texas?
7. Is God really a DJ? Or is he just a slob like one of us?
8. Was Leroy Brown really the baddest man in town?
9. Does silence really speak a thousand words?
10. Under the big top world, do we all need the clowns to make us laugh?

Well, I've got a whole lot of other questions about what I've learned from the musicians, but I'm going to stop there, because in the grand scheme of things, it is my prerogative.

Currently listening to: Trout Fishing In America - cover

Here are the old comments.

It is Just a Broken Belt

Last night I took a trip into Basel to catch School of Rock, which just opened last week. Yes, movies take a while to get to this part of the world. It was quite the funny film, although I am a fan of Jack Black. After the movie, my friend Drew and I headed to a Mexican restaurant/bar to hang out. We had some good laughs talking about life in this small community, Valentine's Day stories (I've got a few I'm debating sharing with you all), our blogs, and other random stuff.

On the way home, my battery light brightened up my car, followed soon by my "get ready to duck and cover as your car is dangerously overheating" light. As I learned long ago with a Caprice Classic, the trick with an overheating engine is to turn up the heat. Oddly enough, I think it was colder air coming into the car than was actually outside of the car. I made it home, but was in a bit of a panic, as I really don't want to have to replace this fine automobile.

This morning upon examination of the vehicle, I discovered one of the belts broken and barely hanging on to the engine. Luckily, I was able to catch my mechanically capable neighbor, as he was heading to the mechanic for some other stuff. So, an hour and ten Euros later, I was back on the road, and ready to cruise for chicks, or go to work, as was the case.

Currently listening to: Bill Mallonee - cover

15.2.04

A Cool Auction

Ok, I've seen some odd Ebay auctions, like the one for used socks, but this person is offering the opportunity to have the number loved by many, hated by some, 867-5309 made popular by the 80's song, "Jenny/867-5309" by Tommy Tutone, who if my VH1 trivia is correct, now is a teacher somewhere in the States. The other amazing thing is the price people are willing to pay for a number that people once tried to change due to all the prank calls they received.

FOLLOW-UP posted Feb 17th.
Sounds like the winner will be a loser.
Back to original post

Currently listening to: Bill Mallonee - cover

14.2.04

Blogger Idol - Week Four - My Picks



Dang, I'm getting slower on this one. Here are the ones that I picked for this weeks top five. Although I have to admit, I only skimmed a few of the entries, as I'm getting lazy. You can read all the submissions by clicking the above logo, or just read the below five, or heck don't read any of them, see if I care. And if your going to have that attitude, just shut your computer off and go interact with real people.

1. Downtown Chick Chat
2. Joshua Michael
3. Living Room
4. Tim Samoff
5. The Scriptorium

Currently listening to: Nothing

Here are the old old comments.

Have You Been Left Behind?

While doing some searching for the previous entry, I found this for sale, with part of the discription reading:

"We recorded this video in anticipation of the cataclysmic events you now face. Play the tape. Listen to the words of those who knew what was coming. The answers are here - what is really happening, why so many have vanished, why you have been left behind. The world is in chaos and will be for a time. Take heart. Bad as things are, there is hope. Listen, watch... and discover the truth"

But why is it only in VHS format?

Currently listening to: cover

Have We Gone Too Far?

Ok, so I'm doing some Yahoo News surfing, and come across this story about marketing the Passion of Christ film. One thing it mentions is that some guy went out and bought 6,000 tickets to give away. Which makes me wonder, if he wouldn't have been a better steward of God's money by buying tickets for the early shows.

But then it makes mention to the fact that at the Daytona 500 Bobby Labonte will be racing for God. Now, I know that many Christians will think that this is a great thing, and maybe I'm just wrong in my odd thinking, but really, is slapping an ad for the latest Jesus film on a NASCAR vehicle going to make a difference in the world? Am I the only one who actually thinks that this might cheapen the Gospel a little? Before you have the church denounce me, hear me out. I'm not against the new film by Mel Gibson, although I have yet to see it, and can only take what I've read and heard that it is a decent film in regards to scriptural accuracies. But putting does selling Jesus on NASCAR really the best thing to do? You have to also remember that this car has also promoted the asthma medicine, Hulk movie, Jurassic Park III, Banquet Foods - a ConAgra product, Circuit City, and coming soon... Shrek 2. Heck, if I were to judge the Passion of Christ based only on the other movies that they've advertised, I would put it on the "watch only if someone esle rented it, and I had nothing better to do" list. And don't get me started on what God might say about people not only working on Sunday, but the amount of natural resources they are using, the damage to the environment caused by the exhaust of a NASCAR race, and it's place in the big picture of life. But I only jest to some extent of that, as I do enjoy the occassional race they show over here in Germany.

But I must ask, will this film really make a huge difference? I hope so, but I also wonder how many people will only see it as a nice story, or someone's take on some event that might have happened, or didn't. Will Christians feel that this is more than a tool, and thus instead of taking friends (I mean people they actually have earned trust and respect with) to see it, and have a serious discussion after the film, will just expect that the movie itself will do the job. I remember a few years ago, many Christians were banking on the movie Left Behind to cause all their friends to accept Christianity, and before that it was Future Tense. We need to remeber that this is just a film. We need to still interact with people, show them that there is hope in this world, that we are not perfect, and that Christ has relevance in our lives. We still need to love those who God puts around us.

But then again, other movies alone have helped kick start religion before in mass numbers.

Currently listening to: cover

13.2.04

A Song for Valentine's Day

On this Valentine's Day Eve, I feel it is necessary to present to the world a song. It is a song near and dear to me. I think I helped write it back in the early '90s, but it is all a vague memory. I then would pull it out every Valentine's Day during college. Since then it has been laying dormant, save for the one time that one of the two other authors wrote me asking if I still had it. It is tune is based on an old Christmas song, and the lyrics are inspired by a couple guys not finding girls to go to an end of the week banquet at high school summer camp. So I give to you.....

The Ten Days Of Depression
by Ted Kluck, Andy Russell, and maybe Ryan Cordell

On the first day of depression, my true love gave to me.... a whole lot of bitterness.
On the second day of depression, my true love gave to me... two shots of denial.
On the thrid day of depression, my true love gave to me... delusions of violence.
On the forth day of depression, my true love gave to me... a touch of paranoia.
On the fifth day of depression, my true love gave to me... the hope of getting back together.
On the sixth day of depression, my true love gave to me... a reality check.
On the seventh day of depression, my true love gave to me... hopeless despair.
On the eighth day of depression, my true love gave to me... a terminal headache.
On the ninth day of depression, my true love gave to me... suicidal thoughts.
On the tenth day of depression, my true love gave to me... her sister from Boise.

Currently listening to: The above song in my head.

Move over Smack The Pengu, There's a New Game In Town

Ok, so my friend thinks he is all cool cause he can smack the pengu for 588.8, which was listed as the high schore by the members of Klonakilty, a great local band. But neither compare to my score of.....



But now that I've mastered that game, I've found a new take on the penguin abuse by Yeti's. This time it is done with the assistance of an orca. Check out this cool game.

Currently listening to: The sound of penguins being tossed into the air by an orca.

11.2.04

You Gotta Love the German Stunts

So this lady was injured in rehearsal for a stunt involving a man cutting open her bra with a chainsaw. Ok, even if you don't read the article, you are probably saying to yourself what a dummy, like I did at first. But then I remembered watching this guy a couple years ago on German television remove the lids of 19 out of 20 beer bottles with a chainsaw. And only one of those 19 had the glass chipped. So the stunt is not that crazy. Ok, who am I kidding, I'm not about to let some guy open my boxers with a chainsaw.

Currently listening to: My very own online radio station

10.2.04

Go For Distance

Here is a fun little game where you are a Yeti, and your job is to launch a penguin. So far my record is 593.5. See if you can beat it. And before anyone gets offended, I don't usually endorse the abuse of animals, but when it is done by the Yeti, the Bigfoot of the Himalayas, I say go for it.

Currently listening to: Eurosport's Mission to Athens
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Just testing this audio posting thing to see if it is worth it. Let me know what you think.

What Is Going On?

So I'm doing a little surfing tonight, and decide to check out my brother and his friends' little club. While I'm there I came across this photo which made me laugh.



Why do I laugh? Is it because the dog and passenger edited into my brother's jeep? No, it is because I didn't think I'd see the day when my sister-in-law was behind the wheel of his jeep. The boy barely let me drive it, and I've been driving stick shift vehicles for over six years in Germany, which should account for something.

Back to my surfing....

Currently listening to: Paste Magazine Sampler #8

9.2.04

Not On The Preflight Checklist - Tact

Even before I read the article about the pilot who called non-Christian passengers crazy while he was addressing them before take-off, I was shaking my head. Part of his reason for doing so was that he had been on a recent missions trip. I've been on my share of missions trips, dang it, I sometime feel that my whole life is one big missions trip. One of the first things I've been taught, or instruct those on the trips I lead, is that you need to use tact when approaching people with the Gospel. You don't just run up to everyone you see. Even though I feel people do need to hear the message of Christ, not everyone wants to. So often you need to meet some of their other needs, and at least build some level of trust or connection with them.

It actually reminds me of a time when some students were doing some street evangelism on the streets of Basel, Switzerland. There was this guy who was playing his guitar and selling CDs near where they were at. Within a few minutes I watched as two guys walked up, starting talking, and seconds later were walking away. They walked over to me, and said that he had told them to bug off. They were shocked. A while later, I noticed the guy was on a break, so I walked over to him, and started discussing what he was playing. I picked up one of his CDs and asked about a couple of the interesting song titles, and what the songs meant. He told me one was a love song he had written to his mother. I bought the CD, we talked for a while. I was able to share a little about why I was living in Europe, that I worked at an International Christian school. But soon he needed to get back to playing. While I didn't fully explain the gospel, hopefully he saw and heard a Christian that day that was more concerned about who he was, and not a potential number in someone's personal salvation record. And as a huge fan of street performers, and a music fan, I was interested. Later I talked with the guys who had spoken to him earlier, and told them a little more about him. I explained that often you need to seek a common interest, build some trust, and don't ever try to force something on someone - especially like in this guys case when he is out there trying to earn a buck, not be pestered by anyone trying to sell him anything.

But back to the pilot... I'm betting there are some Christians out there who would say, "Great for him, he was just doing his job as a Christian." To them I would say, but he wasn't doing his job as a pilot, so what good does that do. The pilot when addressing the passengers needs to build confidence in him, not call many of them crazy. But, some will ask, "What would Jesus do?," as they look at their wristbands that were probably manufactured in some sweatshop in a third world. My theory is that if Jesus was the pilot, he would have done the usual announcements, then proceeded to change the inflight movie from "Under the Tuscan Sun" to "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," as that had the most Gospel like story, yet was a great action flick as well. As soon as the plane had leveled off, he would have walked down the isles talking with people, and miraculously silencing every screaming baby. He would have changed all the inflight meals to the best cut of steak, or the freshest fruit and vegetable spread for the vegetarians on board. He would have then gotten them all to their destination in record time, with their luggage waiting for them as they walked off the plane. Then all the passengers would have known there was something different about this passenger, would have probably tried to kill him or turn him over to the leaders of the day. But then again, he would have remembered a time when he healed the sick, gave wine to the thirsty party goers, and was revered as a great teacher, but soon they hung him out to die.

One other odd thing about this news article. It says that no one raised their hands when he asked Christians to raise them up in the air, wave them around like they just don't care. Interesting.....

An interesting movie that relates to all of this is The Big Kahuna, I recommend renting it tonight.

Currently listening to: Paste Magazine Sampler #8

8.2.04

Blogger Idol - Week Four - My Entry


Again another week of trying to come up with something to meet a random theme tossed out to those participating. After what I feel was a really good entry last week, I feel I'm going to disappoint with this weeks entry. But anyway.....

This week's theme is "Ooops"

This weeks thoughts:
So I sit for a few minutes to think about the theme. I think I could write about mistakes I've made, like shutting down a company's email for a day, totaling a car in Italy, or not telling that girl how I really felt. I then thought I would try to write a parody to Britney's "Oops I Did It Again," as that was the first song that entered my head after reading the theme. Then I thought I would see what Ooops would turn up in a google search and write some witty thing about that. But what can I say about the Organization of Online Pipe Smokers Although, I have to admit, I do love the smell of a good pipe, but you can't get that online.

But then it hit me. The theme was Ooops, and if you go to Mirriam-Webster or any online dictionary service, you will find that technically "ooops" is not a word. So to the fine folks at Blogger Idol, I say "oops" to you.

P.S. I meen no harm by my entri, I actualy think the Blogger Idol thing is a creative idea. No harm is ment by me poynting out ani misspelings, as I no I make to many myselv.

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Currently listening to: Dune - Forever

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When In Doubt, Fake It

According to the BBC, most people can't tell the difference between a fake smile, and a real one. Click here to take the test I actually got 17 out of 20 right, so I guess I'm above average.

Currently playing: Last Train Home - cover

6.2.04

Thank You Mr. Presidnet and Mr. Knight

This is not good news for Americans living in Europe. This isn't either, but then is it good news for anyone?

Currently listening to: some music from the dorm kitchen where one of the guys is doing his grattis. I'm subbing at the dorm this weekend.

5.2.04

Man, I Should Be a Psychic

If I didn't already see that I would be a horrible psychic, I would have set up one of those 1-800 lines. But now and then I have a good grasp on the culture of society, and just this afternoon, I told a student that within two weeks time there would be some lawsuits filed against Janet Jackson over the Superbowl game. Well, the wait is over. The only problem is that it is filed on behalf of all Americans who watched. Although I qualify, I watched the game with some people who are not American, and they were just as offended. But then again, a lot of Europeans were not as shocked by the escapade, as it was nothing compared what you might see on late night television, magazine racks, or a the local pool.

If the lawsuit goes through, I look forward to sharing the settlement with all my fellow Americans. I guess I should notify my bank that I might be depositing a penny soon.

Currently listening to: the voices in my head telling me I need to go to bed.

Walk This Way...

For those of you thinking of making travel plans to Italy this year, might want to check with your travel agent about getting an updated map. Why you ask? Well the city of Venice is planning on making
One Way Streets for pedestrians. According to the article the fines range from 25 to 500 Euros. To put that in terms of Americans traveling in Europe, it is the equivalent of 2 to 40 McDonald's Menu Meals. To put into terms of this boy living in Europe, 25 Euros doesn't even fill my gas tank, and 500 is more than I pay for rent. And this is the fine for walking down the street the wrong way.

My tip for you if you make it to Venice, besides the careful which way you walk, is to watch out for those dang pigeons. I'm telling you once enter the Piazza San Macro (St. Marks Square) those birds are as bad as mosquitoes in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in the summertime. Don't believe me, check out these photos from my visit there in October.

One of my favorite shots from the trip.


It didn't take much to convince this student to do this.


Currently listening to: Adam West and Burt Ward performing the audio commentary on: cover

4.2.04

Blogger Idol - Week Three - My Picks


Well, here we go again picking the ones that stimulated a thought, laugh, or both. In the order that I list them, but no other order....

1. Bryan
2. Where The Hell Was I?
3. Legally Blond
4. Rravens Piece
5. Eyecant

This makes two weeks that Eyecant and Legally Blond have made my list. So if this really was a competition, they would be leading. See all the entries here. Or just read my entry for the week again, for the first time.

Currently listening to: They Might Be Giants - cover

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Living In The Shadow

Although, I don't want to talk too much about the Super Bowl, I feel I must make reference to this poor guy. Here is a guy who had a dream of making it in America. Just like forty years ago when four young lads stepped off an airplane in New York with the dream of taking the American music world by force, this man was standing on the sidelines in Texas, waiting to take the sporting world by force. Fortunately for the Beatles, Janet wasn't around to interfere with their dreams. I do love the fact that this guy at least was able to do the Moonwalk, the dance made popular by Michael Jackson. So I guess the naked thing wasn't the only theme during the official, and non-official half time shows.

My only question is where was the Ranbow Man during all of this? Whoops, I know where.

Currently listening to: Steve Taylor - Squint (with the song Bannerman)

3.2.04

Clothing Malfunctions

Well, I decided I should toss my two cents in on the whole Superbowl Halftime show fiasco, or the "Boob Shown Around the World." I happened to be watching with several of the guys in the dorm, and didn't want to laugh or bring any attention to the incident, so I just played it off like nothing happened, but then when they started asking if they saw what they saw, I said, "no, it was just some flesh colored costuming." But then after the game when I got home, I checked this internet thingy, I found out that I was wrong.

Here are a couple questions I have -
1. Why was Janet even asked to perform anyway? She hasn't had a hit in years. Were Right Said Fred busy? (before you laugh, they have had a hit in Europe more recently than Janet.)
2. Why was Justin singing one of his older hits? Is it because these lyrics, "Just close your eyes I'll grab your waist" didn't feel as shocking to act out as "Cause I, gotta have you naked by the end of this song"
3. Should we really believe MTV who earlier this year gave us the Madonna/Britney record sales promotional kiss, and earlier this week promised a "shocking" halftime show.
. Is no one going to mention the improper use of the flag by Kid Rock? Last time I checked, tearing a flag and using it as clothing was on the same list as burning a flag. How does that fit into the whole patriotic theme of the game?

And before I put on my foil hat back on, let me toss out this theory for 4discussion. Could this have been two fold ploy by Janet Jackson, as she is the only one taking any credit for this action. She probably thought it would help her record sales, although she should have checked in with Tiffany to see how post-naked sales really are. And she probably thought it would move the spot light off her brother for a while. That or she was just trying win the Jackson freak off, but we all know LaToya is winning that.

Currently playing: Last Train Home - cover

1.2.04

Blogger Idol - Week Three - My Entry


This weeks theme in the Blogger Idol boondoggle is "A Day In The Life of ..." While I had grand ideas of doing an interpretive dance and posting the video online, I just couldn't find my dancing shoes. Maybe next week. So for this weeks entry, I present......

A Day In The Life Of Someone Defined By Song Lyrics

4:12 - "I hear the secrets that you keep when you're talking in your sleep" Romantics - "Talking In Your Sleep"
5:50 - "It's getting hard to wake up in the morning My head is spinning constantly" Martika - "Toy Soldiers"
5:55 - "Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick" Cyndi Lauper - "Time After Time"
6:00 - "I raise my weary head. I've got an old coat for a pillow, and the earth was last night's bed.' Bon Jovi - "Blaze of Glory"
6:30 - "When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair I might open my eyes and find someone standing there. People say I'm crazy, just a little touched, but maybe showers remind me of Psycho too much" Rockwell - "Somebody's Watching Me"
7:00 - "The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert." Johnny Cash - "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down"
7:30 - "I step outside and I take a deep breath then I get real high then I scream from the top of my lungs what's goin' on" 4 Non Blondes - "What's Up"
8:00 - "Have to catch an early train, got to be to work by nine, and if I had an airplane I still couldn't make it on time" Bangles - "Manic Monday"
9:15 - "We gotta install microwave ovens, custom kitchens deliveries. We gotta move these refrigerators. We gotta move these colour tv's" Dire Straits - "Money For Nothing"
12:00 - "A growing boy needs his lunch" Dead Kennadys - "A Growing Boy Needs His Lunch"
13:00 - "Well my coffee's cold, and I'm gettin told that I gotta get back to work" Rod Stewart - "You Wear It Well"
18:00 - "It's six o'clock, it's quitting time. I'm done for the day" Styx - "Pieces of Eight"
18:15 - "as I turned to make my way back home, the snow turned into rain" Dan Fogelberg - "Same Old Lang Syne"
19:15 - "Push the door, I'm home at last and I'm soaking through and through" Dido - "Thank You"
19:25 - "We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner. But we would eat Kraft Dinner. Of course we would, we'd just eat more. And buy really expensive ketchup with it. That's right, all the fanciest Dijon Ketchup." - Barenaked Ladies - "If I Had A $1000000"
20:00 - "New movie's showin... so you're goin, could care less about the five you're blowin" Young MC - "Bust A Move
22:45 - "Sometimes on Friday I'll stop by and have a few drinks" Bruce Springsteen - "Glory Days"
23:30 - "Closing time - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here." Semisonic - "Closing Time"
23:31 - "Who's gonna drive you home, tonight?" Cars - "Drive"
24:00 - "And I feel like I just got home" Madonna - "Ray Of Light"
0:10 - "Put on my pj's and hop into bed, I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead" Jewel - "You Were Meant For Me"
0:13 - "Close your eyes and try to sleep now. Close your eyes and try to dream" Pat Benetar - "We Belong"
3:31 - "In the middle of the night, I go walkin in my sleep" Billy Joel - "River of Dreams"

Well, be sure to check out some of the other entries for this week. You can them all by clicking on the button below.
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Currently listing to: Gallahad - Songs of the Loon

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1/3 Geek

I don't know if this bodes well for me, but I scored "33.33333% - Total Geek" on the The Geek Test. Give it a test, and let me know how you do. If my little brother is reading this post, I estimate that you will get at least a 45%.

Currently listening to: Michelle Tumes - cover