Among Five Score Pachyderm

Wildlife is the theme at PhotoFriday this week. I took this photo at the Bannerghatta National Park near Bangalore, India.

I Don't Drink Coffee

This week at PhotoFriday the theme is Brown. This was taken in Amadeo, Philippines, which is the Coffee Capital of the Philippines. The mayor of the town invited us in for a cup of coffee. I was able to tell him it was the best coffee I have ever had. It also was the first cup of coffee I had ever had. Two more cups have followed, but that first cup still was the best.

A Casket Or A Bentley

Wealth is the theme at PhotoFriday this week. They say you can't take it with you, but many try. This casket is on display at the National Museum of Funeral History in Houston, Texas.

Strikes A Blow With His Census Form

For those unaware, or those who really care, I have found some employment with the United States government. I would love to tell you I am now a special agent in the FBI with the task of trying to solve the cases they have assigned an unsolvable status due to some unexplained phenomena. Unfortunately my X-file solving will have to wait for another day.

Right now, I am working as a lister for the Census Bureau. I basically will be assisting the government as they update their address lists. This means I will be going door to door checking addresses. There is a press release telling a little more about what I am doing, and not to fear me, and others like me, if you see us walking up your driveway. But if you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes, look away, baby, look away.

I am just glad I do not have to ask any personal questions at this point. I fear I would encounter too many people like this guy.

Until I Hear It From You

The Bloomington Extreme, one of the local indoor football teams, is having a promotion tonight that I was very tempting, or at least interesting. After tonight's game there is a free concert by Remedy Drive, a Christian rock band from Omaha, Nebraska.

But the odd thing is that is also Deaf Night for the Bloomington Extreme. I find some humor in the fact that a band has been booked to play the same evening they are having a outreach towards the deaf population. Don't get me wrong, I think both are great promotions. I wonder if it would be better to separate the events.

Can you imagine the band members discuss the concert on the ride to the hotel? "Man, a large part of the crowd just did not appear to be into what we were singing. Like when I told them to put their hands together, they just stood there." I guess at least they won't get too many complaints of being too loud.

Here is a snapshot of their promotional schedule, to prove I am not making this up.

Teach Your Children Well

I know many parents do not want to hear a single childless guy tell them how to raise their kids. But take into consideration that this guy has helped raise hundred of kids who were dropped of at boarding schools around the world, and hopefully you will heed the following advice.

This is a very important tip for those of you with young boys. When teaching them how to use a urinal, please instruct them that talking is limited to very close friends and family. In those two situations talking should only be limited. But in no situation known to man should a child start a conversation with an adult while both are using urinals.

I give this advice today after an awkward situation I was in today. I stopped at one of those large everything including the groceries stores. As I had been on the road for a couple hours, I made my first stop the bathroom. As I walked through the door, there were a couple small children blocking the entry. Their father asked them to move so I could pass by, and I thought nothing of it. Unfortunately, a minute later as I was taking care of business, when I heard a voice coming from the urinal next to me. "That was my dad out there," he began. I, not knowing exactly what was going on, just kept to my business and didn't say anything. But the little kid kept talking, as kids often are prone to do. So I finished up, zipped up, washed up and headed to the door. I think the kid still might have been talking to me as I exited the door. I was tempted to say something to the father about proper urinal etiquette or even about supervising your children in the restroom. I figured it might be more of a hassle, so I just went about my shopping.

But for you my readers, please do me a favor and have a talk with your sons tonight. Tell them that when you use the restroom the only things other than air exiting your body should be from below the belt.

As a bonus, you should also tell them that talking to guys with creepy mustaches is usually not a good idea, especially in light of the above tip. I am not saying all guys who have mustaches are creepy, but as a general rule of thumb...

Put Me In Coach

I am watching the World Baseball Classic tonight. Tonight's game is between Venezuela and Korea, and right now it looks like it will be a victory for the Koreans. As someone who lived in Korea, and is a big fan of the Korean Baseball Organization, I have to say I am really enjoying the game. Well, almost. See, I am very close to turning down the sound, as the announcers sadly are proving some of the reasons a global competition like this should be held.

So far I have heard them discuss how hard it is for American baseball players, and why many of them did not want to give up more of their off-season to participate in the games. They actually bemoaned how hard it is for the players to have to spend six months on the road, often missing family and home. Boo-hoo. First off the minimum salary for a major league player in America is around $380,000 a year. Not bad for a six month gig. And sure you have to spend a lot of time on the road, but it does not take a rocket scientist to be aware of that way before you sign your contract. Every job has things about it that stinks, and if you do not like it, you are not required to take that job.

The announcers have also bemoaned how the numbers of American born baseball players in the United States is declining. They said they could not figure out why, yet in the rest of the world more and more great players are emerging. Here are a few potential reasons off the top of my head. American youth are more focused on their video games and television sets these days. Many parents wont let their precious snowflakes play in unsupervised areas like they used to, thus pick up games of baseball do not happen as often. Could it even be that we have seen many of our heroes fall from grace, and don't want to follow their lead (or don't have connections to steroids like they did)? Or perhaps as today's youth have watched ESPN they have seen the real money is at the poker tables, plus you don't have to work out as much to be a professional player in that sport.

And as for the announcer's complaints that we might be an underdog in our own sport, perhaps we should be glad we have exported at least something other countries can enjoy. I have spent many afternoons sitting in the outfield stand in a ball park in Korea. (Hanwha Eagles Fighting!) I can honestly say the fans there get into the game far more than most who attend games in the States. It is a completely different atmosphere in the stands, one that personally miss.

I am really enjoying see teams made up of non-MLBers compete and even out perform against guys who get paid millions. Seeing the Netherlands do as well as they did was a great thing. And now, the Koreans are about to finish off the Venezuelans. Makes you wonder if the big bucks are worth it?

Besides the announcers, my only other complaint about the World Baseball Classic is the way the brackets work. Korea and Japan have already faced each other four times, and could have a fifth before the series is over. They should mix the teams up a little more. How about splitting up the two teams that advance from the first round to different pools? It would give even more chances for teams to face each other, and limit the number of times two teams would face off.

Oh, and now that this is going to be a routine event, can we change the name of this to the World Series, and the other championship to the MLB Championship? Makes sense to me.