When I'm Gone

My friend Bethany recently directed people to a cool way to wear your deceased loved ones, even if that loved one is a pet who has passed. And while this might be easier than keeping someone in a glass sarcophagus like Uncle Ho, others might be a little freaked out when the dead start to rise... from their finger jewelry.

But it would be selfish to only have one person sporting a piece of me after my time on this celestial ball comes to a sudden end. If only there were another option... oh wait there is. For about the cost of the The Best of Hanson CD, you can take my breath away, and keep it in a little vial. And there are so many options of how you can display the carbon dioxide I produce. If you are religious how about a cross? Or maybe you want to remember me as the dog that I am. Maybe you hope that in my breath is some secret I will whisper in your ear.

So who wants one? If you order one, I'll fill it up for free. Although for an extra $10, payable to me, I'll make sure the breath captured is scented in your choice of: Thai food, Chinese food, Mexican food, Freshly brushed teeth, or Kimchi.

So if you want a keepsake that will last longer than a t-shirt, get busy. Sorry, I'm not giving out locks of hair for fear that someone would want to clone me someday.

Currently soothing my throat with a: