Beatlemania Has Bitten The Dust

Hello Europe, this is Taejon calling. First I must say great job tonight to Finland for putting on a great show. But what in the world were you all drinking tonight? A little too much absinthe? Ukraine as the second best song? I'll admit that the Serbians did a better job live than I predicted, but I still wouldn't have voted them the best. No, I am not bitter that I only got five right of my top ten. I should have thought more about some of the former republics sticking with their early suppressors. Did not think the Stockholm Syndrome was going to come into play. This can be the only reason that the UK received twelve points from Malta and the seven points from Ireland.

The funny thing is that before the contest only one band emailed to encourage me and my friends to vote. That band came in last. Sorry Ireland, don't blame me, I was out of the EBU's range. Perhaps you can join Iceland in blaming the Eastern European mafia.

Again, don't get me wrong. It was a great show, including the appearance of Apocalyptica and Joulupukki. I look forward to next year's show from Serbia.

Speaking of next year, might I beg Lichtenstein, Italy, and the Vatican City to submit a song. If the Pope does not want to sing for the Vatican City, I'd be willing to give it a shot. Think about it. You know where to reach me.

I hope I am not too harsh to my European friends, but remember you are the ones who supported Hasselhoff's singing career and made "Dragostea Din Tei" a hit song before Gary Brolsoma made it a phenomena, or make that a pheNumaNumena.

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