13.2.06

Dancing On The Valentine

Two years ago I tossed out a Valentine's Day Song I help write with a couple guys, including a member of the Battle Creek Crunch. This year, I give you a really bad poem with extra cheese. Enjoy!

It is February 14th which is Valentine's Day,
One of the celebrations I wish would go away.
It is not that I'm too cheap to buy a bouquet,
But if you ask two of my ex-girlfriends to say
They would tell you around this holiday I sent them on their way
As the relationships had gone into some form of dismay.
I am sorry to say I used the "lets be friends" cliche.
Have I told when I got in trouble for yelling, "I'm not gay?"

Now don't get me wrong, for some girl to love I do pray
I hope I find her before my hair starts to turn gray.
Even if it all falls out I'll never wear a toupee.
To find her must I travel to the city of Bombay,
Should I make another trip over the Strait of Calais?
At this point I don't care if she is from Green Bay.
When we are together all will be right under the Milky Way
That is as long as she doesn't make me take up ballet
And bore me instructing me in the ways of Piaget
If she is lucky she can ride with me to see Coldplay
Or stay home and watch the Office with Ricky Gervais.

BTW, if you know a nice girl who will not betray
Tell her to fill out this form, okay?

Currently listening to: The Kelly Family -

10.2.06

Trade My Sandals For My Skis

What has become of me? I've spent this morning cleaning my apartment. Don't get me wrong, it needed it. But I could have spent the day skiing in Korea with some of the students and staff. Sure I've read stories about Korean skiing which state they ski like they drive. And I assumed if the only bowling shoes I can rent in this country are two sizes too small, I would have no luck with ski boots. Or maybe it is that I'm spoiled, spending many days on the mountains of Switzerland. But as I was cleaning my tub, a voice in my head asked what in the world has happened to me. That voice told me that the high school version of Ryan, who thought skiing in Iowa was cool, would gladly kick the tub cleaning version of Ryan's gluteus maximus.

I'm reminded of the scene in The Kid where Rusty asks his older version of himself, "So ... I'm 40, I'm not married, I don't fly jets and I don't have a dog? I grow up to be a loser!"

Currently reading:

The Picture Is Blurred

This week's theme at Photo Friday is "blur." Here is a photo I took my recent trip to the Philippines.


I'm slowly putting more photos up from the trip on my flickr pages.

9.2.06

Hazy Shade Of Winter

I've written about eight different entries to this blog this week that might never see the light of day. But each time I got near the end, something prevented me from hitting the "publish" button. Was I afraid of offending, offering the brutal truth, or exposing more of my life for all to see? Perhaps someday they will find their freedom from the abyss known as "Drafts." Perhaps not. So until I get motivated to toss more brain dibble out there, here are some haiku:

Package in the mail
Five pounds of pistachios
Life is good sometimes.

Winter I once loved
Playing in the snow was fun
But now I'm just cold.

The head and the heart
Why can't they work together
Instead of fighting.

Bad news on the phone
But before I pass judgement
Could it have been me?

Two roads before me
Both would be an adventure
Just need to step out.

Actor bit by wolf
But don't worry he'll be fine
And will act again
.

Currently listening to: Martyn Joseph -

6.2.06

But It Didn't Really Rhyme

Every day on the trip started with prayer
Even on Monday when we met the mayor
Who told us to go to the coffee purveryor.
Did I mention the bricks were stacked in a layer?
Luckily the trip was without a naysayer,
But why did I get hit on by the bass player?

A couple games of hearts I did deal
I hope soon my stomach will heal
And I can fully enjoy a nice meal
Perhaps some nicely cooked veal.
To all you art fans I once again appeal
With a self-portrait of Charles Willson Peale.

5.2.06

I Slowly Go Insane

Well kids it is story time here in this small corner of the internet I call my blog. So grab some milk, your blanky, and take a seat as I give you a couple stories from the Philippine trip.

Story #1
I'm standing in a bookstore checking out the classics section. I'm hoping to pick up one of the great Russian novels, but no luck. While I'm standing there scanning the shelves, I notice that they are playing the hits of Richard Marx on the speakers. As one who enjoys the works of Marx almost too much, I found myself singing audibly, "Oceans apart day after day..." I soon noticed a young girl staring at me rather oddly, which I dismissed due to my rather large size in comparison and not because of my knowledge of all the lyrics. Very soon, she walked by again followed by a friend who was also singing along, "Can't you see it baby..." I would have thought it odd, until yet another customer walked by with "where ever you go" exiting his mouth. I had to laugh, and wonder what is it about this anthem that caused us all to sing along? Was it that we were each hoping someone out there was aware we were "Right Here Waiting" or was it just a catchy tune littered with cheesy lyrics that beg to be sung? But before I got to deep in thought, my mouth began spewing, "we used to walk down by the river..."

Story #2
The purpose of the trip was to build home with Habitat For Humanity for some of the homeless people in Tagaytay City. One of the people we met had a great job working at Clark Air Base until Mount Pinatubo erupted destroying 4,979 homes and damaged another 70,257. The Americans pulled out of the base, and all the Filipinos lost their jobs. Like many others, he had to leave an area he called home and has been living in various situations that are not pleasant. He recently was kicked out of an apartment he rented for the equilivant of $20 a month. For the last few months he has been working with Habitiat to copmlete his sweat equity. Until Thursday he had no home to call his own for his wife and child to live in. It was an honor to be a part of the dedication of his new home.

Story #3
Here in Korea, Seoul National University is regarded as the top school, and those who attend are the lucky few. Well, we found out that the hole for the septic tank was started by a group from SNU, but abandoned as the volcanic rock in the ground was too tough to dig through. As our team had doubled the size of the whole, I wanted to encourage them by telling them that some college students from Seoul National couldn't even do this. But when I told them this, some students informed me that the students at Seoul National are known for "being smart, not strong."

Story #4
It was meal time on flight back home and the choice was beef or fish. Well, by the time they got around to me, the beef was gone. The nice flight attendant offered me the fish, but I've seen Airplane! and don't take those risks. She said she would double check to see if there were more beef. A few minutes she came back and asked me if I would like shrimp instead. I agreed and ate well. When someone in my row noticed my meal, I uttered, "you got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them."

Well, that will do it for today's story time. Soon, I'll give you some excerpts from a speech I gave during my time in the Philippines. Until then, "Hold on to the night, hold on to the memories..."

Currently reading:

3.2.06

The Heat Is On

Arrived back from trip
Unpacking and cleaning now
Dang it is cold here.

Out of comfort zone
Will this change my long term life
Or just for a time?

The suitcase is full
Clothes full of volcanic dirt
And lots of mango.

Went to a party
No one else wanted to go
They missed hot pig's blood.

Currently reading: